Posted by: Fern | January 20, 2008

Month Eleven

Dear Declan,

PICT7412I have to admit I cried yesterday as I sat down to write this, next month you will be one year old, one year since your entry into the world in flurry of expletives and amniotic fluid. This is the last time I can write about having a baby, next month I can no longer tell people your age in months, from then on I have a one year old, and that scares the crap out of me.

I don’t know where to start with this month, you’re growing faster than I can keep up with. You have five teeth, weigh 12kg and you’re almost as tall as your three year old cousin, Ethan. You will repeat Mama and Dad-dad and Noo (no) back to us, and I’m starting to think your constant chanting of “Lan-Lan-Lan” is an attempt at your name.

(And FWI buddy, yes, “Standeruperer” is a word, and you don’t want to know what is all around your mouth, but lets just say it puts me firmly into the “bad mother” category!)

You’re a strange mix of pig-headedly independent and yet clingy to the point of being draining. As soon as either me or your Dad walk into another room and close the door you will cry and hit the door until we come out – one of the reasons why I haven’t peed without an audience in months, it’s quieter this way. As soon as we come out you’ll go back to ignoring us, it seems you’re quite happy to amuse yourself, so long as everybody is watching, heaven forbid I check my emails or I risk losing my fingers as you slam the laptop lid down.

A couple of weeks ago you took your first holiday since you’ve been mobile. You spent a week at Nanny and Gar-Gar’s crawling aroud and playing in the pool. When I was pregnant I used to tell everyone that you were “My Little Thorpey“, you used to kick and belt me until I would swear I had internal bruising, and we just reckoned that you were practising for your first Olympics. Whilst up and your grandparents you had your first go in the pool, and I don’t think we were far wrong. You splashed, you kicked your legs and you thought the whole thing was just hilarious, and when it was time to get out you screamed and clawed at me to get back in. If you could keep up with these skills it would be fabulous, if I know that you’re my retirement plan then it might make still getting up twice a night more bearable.

PICT7443You’ve completely rejected me even attempting to feed you now, leading to me racking my brains for healthy finger food, because, according to Miriam Stoppard, you can’t exist solely on a diet of oven chips. Tonight we all sat down and ate gnocchi with chicken and pesto, you wolfed down as much as you wanted and then played with it, it my encouraging you to eat a bit more (hah! like you need it!) I picked up a piece of gnochhi and put it to your mouth, you ate it and quickly grabbed another piece, I was expecting you to shovel it into your mouth but much to my surprise you stretched out your hand and put it up to my lips. I made a big act of munching away at your hand, but you weren’t impressed with my fake eating, apparently I HAD to eat the piece of gnocchi that you’d probably chewed a few times and thrown on the floor at some point during your meal, and, after prying my mouth open to make sure I had swallowed it, you let out with a massive grin, grabbed your sippy cup and put that up to my mouth so I could wash your regurged pasta down. It was a bittersweet moment, one where it was so obvious that you were growing up, mimicking what I do for you and looking after me in just the same way, but it makes me long for the new born blob you once were. Sometimes I long for you to be a bit older so you could vocalise what’s wrong when you’re having one of your many tantrums, but more often I wish I could keep you in Tupperware so you could stay like this for ever.

Love Always,

Mum xxx


  1. maybe the chants of “Lan-Lan-Lan” are the little guy’s way of telling you he is a budding geek.
    but, with his parental stock, that wouldn’t be suprising 😉

    it’s amazing how quickly the year has flown.

  2. treasure every moment, they grow up far too quickly

  3. awww…he’s precious!!! Nothing like a Mommy’s love!

    With friendship,

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