Posted by: Fern | July 2, 2008

When One Becomes Two

If this baby runs on Declan’s schedule then he/she is due to arrive in about twelve weeks, that sounds about a million times scarier than saying that I’m twenty six weeks pregnant, and I’m just hitting the point where I’m beginning to panic about it all.

My neighbour had her second baby a couple of months ago, there’s six months between Declan and her eldest son, N, and there will be the same age gap between our second children as well, so it’s worked out fairly well. I’ve been looking after her boys one morning a week and I’ve come to the conclusion that three babies is far easier than two. Declan and N will play with each other quite happily while I get to focus on the newborn’s needs, I only really need to intervene when there’s a squabble over a toy. For the first time today I have just the newborn… this isn’t going quite so well. Declan wants the baby to play and just can’t comprehend that he can’t even support his own head weight, let alone get down on the floor and play with the fire engine. He’s also learnt this morning that if I’m trying to calm down the baby then he has to wait a few more minutes before he gets whatever it is he’s demanding as he dangles from my leg and stamps his feet.

I’m fairly certain this is doing him the world of good, he’s getting used to having a newborn around and having my attention divided before it comes time for that to be the case twenty four hours a day, but it’s making me more than a little doubtful of my coping skills. I’m a terrible multitasker, I literally need a to do list every day that informs me to remember to eat and brush my hair, and although I will say that being a good mother is one of the few things that I believe I’ve been truly successful at in my life so far, I am starting to fret about having two beings to look after as opposed to one moderately self sufficient one. Self-doubt has firmly planted itself in my mind and I’m starting to wonder what on earth I’ve set myself up for.

That said, I did manage to get both boys down to nap at the same time long enough for me to have a (hot!) cup of coffee and write this, so I can’t be too terrible as the whole parenting shiznit. Hmm.


  1. Fern, you ARE a fabulous mother and I have no doubt whatsoever that you will learn to multitask. All mothers do!! Declan will learn to wait (and that’s not a bad thing at his age). Writing “to do” lists to remember to eat and brush your hair – well – that’s another question all together???

    Never mind darling, we love you as you are. Unique!!!

  2. Aww, Trudy, you made me cry. Thanks 😀

  3. *hug* I know that feeling. As well as the niggling ‘can’t back out now, what the HELL was I thinking?’ panic in the back of my head 🙂

    Do you think there are any strategies you can come up with beforehand that might help you out? Ummm… organising regular babysitting + alone time, etc? I’m a big fan of not just reassuring myself that I’ll be fine, but setting things up so that I’m almost _guaranteed_ to be. Makes it easier if things do go belly-up.

  4. It sounds like you’re doing a great job!
    Don’t worry so much, multitasking skills come when the need arises, although they can depart at times and leave you in a bit of a brain fart – but again that is normal too! 😉
    I do think ‘Plan B’s’ are a good idea, as mentioned above – get working on that network of helpful people, while you still have the time and patience to be nice to them!
    You’re a lovely mummy honey 😀

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