Posted by: Fern | March 29, 2009

Sleep Is For The Weak

Declan's Favourite Game Declan’s current favourite game to play with his brother involves the two of them laying on the sofa in the spare room, Declan giving Connor his dummy and tucking him in under the piece of fabric (the fabric that’s meant to cover my beautiful sofa to stop it being abused by my kids, hah!), giving him a kiss and saying “night, night, Connor” and then grabbing his own dummy and, of course, the ever present “Lion” and then cuddling up to his brother and pretending to fall asleep.

Cue thirty seconds of over dramatic fake snoring while Connor laughs his head off and tries to work out what is actually going on. As far as he’s concerned this is high level comedy.

Declan's Favourite Game Declan will then leap up, announce “WAKEY WAKEY DECLAN!! WAKEY WAKEY CONNOR!!!” as loud as he possibly can, pull the blanket off his brother and run around like a nutter for a couple of minutes until he returns to the sofa, covers his brother up with the fabric… lather, rinse, repeat.

Oh to be a toddler.

Unfortunately, getting Connor to sleep right now isn’t quite that easy.

It all started going down hill when we went up to visit my inlaws. He wasn’t keen on the porta-cot up there, which I can understand with it being unusual to him, and so he slept for the five nights or so in his bouncer. Then we got home and he didn’t want to go back to the crib. Fair enough, I started putting the bouncer in the crib to try and get him used to it again and make the transition back a little easier.

Then he decided he wanted the light on, he would calm immediately when we flicked it on, so I did.

Then he decided that he needed some white noise, because of the heat he’s always had a fan going near him, and now it was cooling and needed to be switched off, he was having a tantrum again. So we left the fan on, just facing away from him.

Then he would freak out when we walked away from the crib, one of us would have to sit next to the crib to get him to fall asleep, and you can see where this ended up, a week of cold dinners and we brought him into the lounge to fall asleep. In the bouncer, with the lights on, with the telly or computer going and with us right next to him.

Then he decided he wanted some appropriate viewing to fall asleep to, so we put on In The Night Garden for him, figuring it was all about falling asleep etc. We’ve watched Makka Pakka lose his sponge for the last four nights whilst we eat dinner and Connor dozes off to sleep.

I’ve just gone through this all again, starting him off in the crib, then the lights, then in the lounge etc etc hoping that tonight he’ll settle just one step earlier. Hah, never! Why on earth would he want to make my life easier? I eventually end up having everything perfect for him, exactly how it wants it, the planets are aligned, I’ve slaughtered several local virgins (and don’t forget, I live in the Western Suburbs, making it a harder task than most 😉 ) and maybe, just maybe, he’ll go to sleep.

Screaming. I try feeding him.

More screaming. Give him a cuddle and try some gripe water.

Yet more screaming. Remember that yesterday he developed a new fixation with a half finished crochet toy that I made years and years ago, a grey pirate with only two limbs. I spend five minutes trying to find it, mentally threatening to injure Declan if he’s taken it into his room. I finally find it, put it next to his face, walk into the family room to get another dose of gripe water. I wasn’t halfway down the hall when I hear the noise, the room is filled with the sound of an overweight asthmatic rhino after a mini triatholon, with just the slightest hint of a dodgy car exhaust thrown in there, that sweet sound, my beautiful six month old babe snoring in a deep sleep.

Where does this all lead you ask?

Tonight I made a breakthrough in a question that has been on the minds of the greatest philosophers, scholars and drunks.

Pirates really are better than Ninjas! Assuming one of the skill sets you’re judging is their ability to soothe a baby to sleep.

Pirates – 1, Ninjas – 0



  1. They are just so gorgeous!
    Just been catching up on your blog, good to hear you back again. Looking forward to seeing you really soon with huge hugs and babysitting services and a little hioliday to balance out your crappy couple of months. Love and hugs, xxx

  2. Awwww, what a cute game!! The photos are adorable too 🙂

  3. ohhh gorgeous bubs! xx

  4. Oh, they are both adorable…and the sofa game is very clever. 🙂

    The sleep battles make me tired just thinking of them! Fortunately, like all the other stages, that one will pass and you’ll be on to some other adventure.

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